The Solace FlowThe Solace Flow
 
The Solace FlowThe Solace Flow
BOOK NOW
  • HOME
  • About
  • Services
    • Services
    • EMDR Therapy / Trauma Therapy
    • Sports Counselling / Sports Psychology
    • Grief Counselling
  • Blog
  • FAQ
  • Contact
THE SOLACE FLOW

Blog

Where we talk about all things trauma, anxiety, grief and loss, depression, relationships, and much more!
bt_bb_section_bottom_section_coverage_image
AllAnxietyAthleticsEMDRHealthy HabitsTrauma
bt_bb_section_bottom_section_coverage_image

thesolaceflow

✨Athlete-turned-therapist
šŸ¤ Helping athletes, retired athletes, & high achievers
šŸ“Virtual sessions in BC & OntariošŸ‡ØšŸ‡¦
šŸ‘‡šŸ¼Accepting new clients

This weekend I celebrated two years of The Solace This weekend I celebrated two years of The Solace Flow šŸ„¹šŸ«¢šŸ¤—šŸ„° how is this real!!

I think about the version of me who held this dream quietly before it existed, the fear, the doubt, the people who told me not to do it. But my ā€œwhyā€ felt bigger than the fear, so I did it scared. 

And somehow, this idea became a community. A practice. A space that has now supported so many humans through different stages of life and many different challenges. 

To every client who trusted me with their story, thank you. There are truly no words that feel big enough for the honour of being invited into people’s lives the way I have been. 

To this Instagram community - thank you for growing with me, engaging with my posts, and allowing me to show up as a real human on this platform. What started as simply wanting to help people feel less alone has grown into something I could have never imagined.

This year also challenged me to soften some of my own perfectionism.

There were moments where I caught myself focused on the things I didn’t accomplish yet: the course not fully launched, the email marketing not where I imagined, all the timelines shifting. But this year also held something incredibly sacred: growing a baby.

And while some goals are moving slower than expected, they never stopped mattering to me. I’ve continued working behind the scenes on courses, ideas, & content that I truly want to feel meaningful and deeply supportive rather than rushed. 

I’ve reminded myself that growth is not only measured in productivity or numbers. This next year may look different because of maternity leave, but it is still growth. Building a family is one of the most important things I will ever do in my life.

As I move into year 3ļøāƒ£, I don’t fully know what this next chapter will hold yet. But I do know that there are dreams continuing to grow alongside me. I plan to grow & launch the courses that have been in the works, have live workshops, grow the blog/email side of things, & return to sharing meaningful and authentic content here.

It has always been about authenticity & connection on this page & in my practice, never perfectionšŸ¤Ž

Thank you for being here 🄹

Shai šŸ¤—
You guysssssssss, I’m pregnantttttt šŸ„¹šŸ„°šŸ˜ŠšŸ¤— This has You guysssssssss, I’m pregnantttttt šŸ„¹šŸ„°šŸ˜ŠšŸ¤—

This has truly been the hardest secret to keep. 🫢 

I wanted to inform all of my clients first, as this news directly impacts them, before sharing it with this wonderful online community we’ve built here. Even while I’m on maternity leave, I still plan to remain present on this page because this space and this community means so much to me.

If you are a client and this news feels shocking to you, it probably just means we haven’t connected in a little while. Please don’t hesitate to reach out with any questions, concerns, thoughts, or feelings, I will always happily chat with you.

Thank you all for understanding that I’ve been a little MIA lately. Life has looked very different over the past seven months in the most beautiful and transformative way possible. My psychological thriller/romantic reading obsession has slowly been replaced with books about fertility, pregnancy, birth, breast-feeding, postpartum, and nervous system regulation. My movement has shifted into slower, workouts, walks, stretching, and listening much more deeply to my body. My weekends have been filled with conversations about baby names, nursery planning, baby shower prep, and soaking in this entirely new season of life.

As a therapist, this experience has also deepened my connection to the work I do every single day. It has been such a powerful reminder of the mind-body connection, the importance of nourishment, rest, movement, support, self compassion, and how deeply our emotional and physical worlds are intertwined. Experiencing such significant change within my own body has expanded my empathy and understanding in ways I honestly don’t even have words for yet, but I’m excited to share when I do.

To say we are grateful feels like an understatementšŸ„¹šŸ¤Ž

I’ll be making another post soon sharing what maternity leave will look like moving forward and what you can expect from me while I’m away. But for now, I just really wanted to share this part of my heart and life with you all.

Thank you for being here through all the seasonsšŸ¤Ž 

- Shai
ā˜ļø a topic that has come up a lot in sessions rece ā˜ļø a topic that has come up a lot in sessions recently 

šŸ‘‰šŸ¼ swipe through to learn about movement being helpful for individuals who have ADHD 

šŸ¤Ž follow @thesolaceflow for more mental health content geared towards high achievers, athletes, and retired athletes 

Warmly,

Shai

#adhd #adhdbrain #retiredathlete #athletementalhealth #highachiever
As a therapist, and a human who has battled with t As a therapist, and a human who has battled with the perfectionism-shame-burnout cycle myself, I often see how perfectionism makes rest feel uncomfortable or even wrong. When you’ve learned to measure your worth by how much you get done, resting can feel like you’re wasting time or falling behind. Productivity becomes the way you prove you’re ā€œenough,ā€ so slowing down can bring up guilt, anxiety, or the urge to do just one more thing.

The truth is, rest isn’t the opposite of productivity, it’s what makes it possible. Your brain and body need pauses to reset, process, and recover. Without rest, focus fades, creativity dries up, and everything starts to feel heavier than it needs to be. Pushing through doesn’t actually make you more effective; it just makes you more exhausted.

Learning to rest is often part of healing perfectionism. It means letting rest be allowed, not earned. It means trusting that taking care of yourself is not a failure, but a way of showing up more fully for your life. Rest is productive because it helps you think clearer, feel steadier, and keep going, not by force, but with care.

Follow @thesolaceflow to learn more šŸ¤Ž! 

#perfectionism #perfectionismrecovery #athletementalhealth #retiredathlete #lifeaftersports
slowwwww it down - for you & your nervous system šŸ¤Ž slowwwww it down - for you & your nervous system šŸ¤Ž

Swipe through for an important read filled with acknowledgement of the busy lifestyle and some suggestions of ways to slow down this month. There are a lot of suggestions, it is not meant to be overwhelming, it is meant for you to be able to pick out the ones that stand out to you as something you may want to try šŸ¤—

Follow @thesolaceflow for more content from a relational therapist šŸ«¶šŸ¼
šŸ’Œ Dear gentle reader, Let me say this gently: if šŸ’Œ Dear gentle reader, 

Let me say this gently: if you’re coming into February already tired, you’re not doing anything wrong. So many people arrive here worn down, wondering why they don’t feel refreshed or motivated yet. You make sense.

Instead of pushing, this month can be an invitation to soften. February doesn’t have to be about fixing yourself, it can be about turning toward yourself. Slowing down just enough to notice how you’re actually doing, not how you think you should be doing.

Many of us learned that staying busy, helpful, or strong was how we stayed connected. Those patterns once protected us. But over time, they can pull us away from ourselves. Choosing yourself can feel uncomfortable not because it’s wrong, but because it’s new.

Slowing down is listening.
Listening to your body.
Listening to your limits.
Listening to what you need before you’re depleted.

If guilt shows up when you rest or say no, that’s okay. It often comes from an old story that says your worth lives in being available or easy. You don’t have to erase that story, just let it loosen its grip.

This month, choose yourself in small, human ways. Take the break. Cancel the thing you don’t have capacity for. Move at a pace your nervous system can actually handle.

You don’t need permission or a big reason.
You’re allowed to rest without earning it.
You’re allowed to slow down without falling behind.
You’re allowed to matter in your own life.

February can be quieter, softer, a time to build trust with yourself, one gentle choice at a time. And that kind of care truly counts.

šŸ¤Ž

with warmth, 

a relational therapist šŸ¤—

Follow @thesolaceflow for more!
As a somatic therapist, I want to gently remind yo As a somatic therapist, I want to gently remind you of something that often gets overlooked: acknowledging your emotions is the work.

So many of us were taught to move past feelings, analyze them away, or ā€œfixā€ them as quickly as possible. But your nervous system doesn’t heal through bypassing, it heals through being met.

When you pause and name what you’re feeling, your body receives a message of safety.

When you allow an emotion to exist without judgment, your system learns that it doesn’t have to stay in fight, flight, or freeze.

When you feel instead of push through, you’re creating space for regulation, not weakness.

You don’t have to understand why you feel something right away. You don’t have to make it productive or positive. Simply noticing ā€œsomething is hereā€ is an act of repair.

This is what it looks like to build capacity.
This is how trust with your body begins.
This is how healing becomes sustainable instead of forced.

If you’re learning to slow down and listen, you’re not behind. You’re doing the work, one felt moment at a time. šŸ’›

ā˜ļø Follow @thesolaceflow to learn more! 

šŸ«¶šŸ¼ I am Shai, a therapist and former athlete myself. I specialize working with athletes, retired athletes, and high achievers who are facing a variety of challenges. Follow my page to learn more šŸ¤—

šŸ¤ I am accepting new clients. Click the link in my bio to schedule a free 15 minute consultation at a time that works best for you. You must be located in British Columbia or Ontario Canada šŸ‡ØšŸ‡¦

Thank you for all the love and support on this page, it means the world to me. 

Warmly,

Shai 

#highachievers #highachiever #perfectionism #perfectionismrecovery #retiredathlete #athletementalhealth #lifeaftersports
I want to gently remind you of something that ofte I want to gently remind you of something that often gets lost in all the goal-setting noise: you don’t need to recreate yourself.

You are not behind. 
You are not broken. 
You are not a project that needs fixing before you’re allowed to feel okay in your life.

So many goals are born from a belief that who you are right now isn’t enough. And when goals are rooted in that place, they often feel heavy, shame-driven, and impossible to sustain. Not because you lack willpower, but because you’re asking yourself to grow through self-criticism instead of care.

What if this year didn’t ask you to become someone new?
What if it simply asked you to stay in relationship with yourself?

Compassionate goals don’t demand perfection. They recognize that you are human with limited energy, changing capacity, a nervous system that gets overwhelmed, and a heart that has carried a lot. They make space for the days you’re tired, the weeks that feel messy, and the seasons where ā€œdoing your bestā€ looks quieter than you expected.

Goals rooted in compassion sound like:
šŸ‘‰šŸ¼ How can I support myself when things feel hard?
šŸ‘‰šŸ¼ What helps me feel a little more grounded, a little more like myself?
šŸ‘‰šŸ¼ What would it look like to move toward growth without abandoning myself along the way?

You don’t need to earn rest.
You don’t need to prove your worth through productivity.
You don’t need to fix yourself in order to deserve gentleness.
You are allowed to grow with yourself, not against yourself.

This year can be less about becoming ā€œbetterā€ and more about becoming kinder, more honest, more attuned, more respectful of your humanity. And that kind of growth, the kind that’s rooted in care rather than shame, is the kind that actually lasts.

You are already enough. 

Follow @thesolaceflow for more content from a therapist šŸ¤Ž

#newyearsgoals #newyearsresolution #perfectionism #perfectionismrecovery
Follow The Solace Flow Instagram
Dissociation: Defense Mechanism for Trauma
EMDRTrauma

Dissociation: Defense Mechanism for Trauma

January 14, 2024by The Solace Flow

A therapist explores dissociation as a defense mechanism in response to trauma, emphasizing the importance of therapy for healing and recovery.

The Solace Flow Logo NoBG
LINKS
  • About
  • Services
  • FAQ
  • Contact
CONTACT

E: shailyn@thesolaceflow.com