5 Self-Love Ideas for V-Day

A Therapist’s Guide: 5 Ways to Focus on Self-Love This Valentine’s Day

 

Hey there,

Valentine’s Day is here again… Maybe you love the idea of celebrating love in all its forms, or maybe you find yourself rolling your eyes at all the over-the-top romance. Either way, I want to invite you into a different kind of conversation—one about self-love.

I’m Shailyn Waites, a therapist who works with athletes, both in sport and transitioning out of it. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned from my work, it’s that self-love isn’t just a feel-good buzzword—it’s essential. So, this Valentine’s Day, let’s talk about ways to nurture yourself, because you deserve that just as much as anyone else.

1. Be Kind to Yourself (Seriously)

How often do you extend the same kindness to yourself that you offer to others? We can be so quick to comfort a friend going through a tough time, yet brutal with our own inner dialogue. This week, try to shift that.

Ways to practice self-compassion:

• Take a few deep breaths. When self-criticism creeps in, pause. Inhale deeply, hold for a moment, and exhale slowly. Let that be a cue to soften toward yourself.
• Affirm the good in you. Say something kind to yourself in the mirror. Even if it feels awkward, try: “I am enough,” or “I am worthy of love.”
• Journal it out. Write about three things you appreciate about yourself. What strengths have carried you through hard times?

2. Create a Self-Love Ritual

When was the last time you set aside time just for you—without an agenda, without productivity, just because you matter? If that feels foreign, let’s change it.

Ideas for your ritual:

• Take a mindful bath. Light a candle, play soft music, and let yourself unwind. No phone, no scrolling, just peace.
• Plan a solo date. Cook yourself a meal you love, watch a movie you’ve been meaning to see, or take yourself to a cozy café.
• Start a morning affirmation routine. Look yourself in the eyes and say something loving. The way we start our mornings sets the tone for the day.

3. Protect Your Energy

Love isn’t just about saying yes—it’s also about knowing when to say no. If something drains you more than it fills you, it’s okay to step back.

Ways to set boundaries:

• Take a break from screens. Social media can be overwhelming, especially around Valentine’s Day. Set a time limit or take a full-day detox.
• Say no without guilt. You don’t have to attend every event or respond to every message right away. Honour what you need.
• Schedule “me time.” Block out space on your calendar for yourself like you would for any other important appointment. Because you are important.

4. Express Yourself

Sometimes, the best way to reconnect with yourself is through creativity. Even if you don’t consider yourself “artistic,” self-expression is a powerful way to explore your inner world.

Ways to express self-love through creativity:

• Doodle, paint, or play with colour. Don’t worry about making something perfect—just create for the joy of it.
• Write freely. Whether it’s poetry, a letter to your past self, or a simple gratitude list, let your thoughts flow onto paper.
• Move your body. Put on a song that makes you feel alive and dance like nobody’s watching (because they’re not!).

5. Reflect on How Far You’ve Come

Growth isn’t always loud or flashy. Sometimes, it’s in the small moments—choosing to rest instead of overworking, setting a boundary you once wouldn’t have, or simply being a little kinder to yourself. Take a moment to recognize that.

Ways to reflect:

• Keep a gratitude journal. Write down three things you’re grateful for each night before bed.
• Track your progress. Whether it’s personal, professional, or emotional growth, note the steps you’ve taken forward.
• Write a letter to your past self. What would you say to the version of you from five years ago? Acknowledge how much you’ve grown.

This Valentine’s Day, I hope you remember that love isn’t just something to give to others—it’s something you deserve to receive, too. So, let’s make space for that. Let’s celebrate who we are, exactly as we are.

Sending you warmth and self-love,

 

If you are located in British Columbia or Ontario Canada and are looking for counselling services, click the link below to schedule a FREE 15-minute consultation at a time that works best for you: thesolaceflow.janeapp.com/